Funny
Incidents in Magic
This
column is not going to be about mentalism, or
me for that matter. It's going to be about funny
incidents in magic. Often I tell these supposedly
true stories and people will end up choking
on their food or spewing their milk or coffee
from their nose. So if you have any liquids
or sandwiches near the computer, remove them
now. Be warned.
Let's
start out with a mild one. This is second hand,
as are all these stories.
 I heard that Tony Spina once produced a dead dove. In other
words, he produced it, and sad to say, it's
head hung to one side and the dove fell to the
floor with a loud thud. Rather than have people
focus on their attention on the dove the rest
of the show, he simply pushed (kicked) it to
the front side of the stage, into the footlights.
On he went. About a minute into the rest of
the performance, smoke started to rise. Then
flames! The bird had caught on fire.
Speaking
of fire. There was a convention competition
where a young competitor was standing backstage
with his dove pan waiting to compete. As he
waited, the lighter fluid in the pan kept evaporating
so he would add a little more, and then a little
more and more and more. Finally, when it was
his time to go on, he went straight into his
act. He was doing fine until it came time for
his finale. The 'two cute chicks production'
from his chick pan. He lit the fluid in the
pan and low and behold a big ball of flame spewed
fourth. He put the lid on, (trying to put the
flames out) and removed it. Out jumped two balls
of flame, (the chicks) they hopped across the
table and down to the floor.....
Ah, but
it gets worse:
The boy
was horrified. His chicks were on fire. Not
thinking, the boy chased the little balls of
flame and started to stomp on them. Putting
them out of course and squashing them at the
same time. Needless to say, the boy did not
place, although he was remembered more than
any of the other acts.
 And finally, my good friend Walter Blaney. Walter does a wonderful
'Texas Size' act that has taken him all over
the world. His finale is to take a small regular
size rabbit and turn it into a large, huge (redundant
but the sucker is really big) rabbit.
Before
one show, the huge 'Texas Size' rabbit had a
stroke. Poor Walter took it pretty bad, but
the show must go on. Walter knew it would be
the rabbit's last show and he should not perform
but Walter could not find another rabbit that
large on such short notice. So, Walter did his
act. The show was going great. The response
was one of his best. Then came the finale. Walter
took the small rabbit and turned it into a 'Texas
Size' rabbit. Walter held the rabbit up high
in the footlights for everyone to see. The louder
the crowd responded, the higher Walter held
the rabbit, going from one side of the stage
to the other swinging it (slowly as it was sick)
back and forth. It seemed the audience reaction
was never going to stop, especially those up
front, and it probably would not have had Walter
not realized why they were responding so enthusiastically.
| Remember
the rabbit had a stroke? Well, seems
that the poor old rabbit could no longer
hold it's bladder. When Walter held
it up high, it let go and sprayed the
entire front row. Walter could not see
what it was doing due the bright lights.
The more the crowd hollored, the more
poor Walter animated the rabbit and
held it up high, and the more the rabbit
sprayed the audience. |
 |
(this
next section is a little off color, be warned.)
And speaking
of Walter. Walter was good friends with David
Hoy ( A real famous mentalist. See, I did get
the word mentalist in here.) One weekend Walter
was visiting Hoy and Hoy suggested Walter go
with him to a radio show he hosted and there
Hoy would interview Walter. The interview seemed
to be going great, David Hoy started to talk
to about Walter's new 'Levitation Illusion.'
"Now you have this wonderful levitation that
has magicians all over the world talking. It's
truly amazing! You lay a girl on a board across
two stools, then you removed one stool, remove
the board and remove the other stool and she
is just floating there."
Walter
agreed that was how the illusion looked and
talked a little about it. Finally came Dave's
next question.
"Well,
I have seen it and it is truly amazing but I
heard you did something even more amazing with
it the other night. You laid the girl between
the stools on the board, removed one stool,
removed the board and then removed the other
stool and she was just floating in mid-air....
then you climbed up there and F * * * * d her."
(Yes, he used the f word.)
Walter
turned beet red, hemmed and hawed, surely he
had not heard Hoy right. This was live radio.
Hoy would lose his job. Walter was flabbergasted.
"Well
did you climb up there and do that to her?"
Asked Hoy.
Walter
looked around and realized he had been had.
Hoy started to laugh and Walter saw the tech
guys laughing out loud. They were not on the
air. David Hoy had set up the whole elaborate
scam.
Jump
a few years ahead, Walter is again at Hoy's
house. Hoy invites Walter to a TV interview.
This, Walter knows is live. Hoy starts to interview
Walter, then says:
"Well,
I have seen it and it is truly amazing but I
heard you did something even more amazing with
it the other night. You laid the girl between
the stools on a board, removed the one stool,
removed the board and then removed the other
stool, and she was just floating in mid-air
then you climbed up there and ...."
Hoy paused.
Walter
turned red. It was Deja Vu all over, surely
Hoy would not say this ... They would both be
ruined .... This was live TV.... Walter knew
beyond any doubt that they were on the air.
Hoy continued
with:
"passed
a huge hoop across the girl."
Walter
let out a sigh of relief as David Hoy, always
the jokester, let out a laugh.
I have
many more of these stories and if these do not
get me too much heat, I may share them sometime.
In thoughts
Banachek
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