Karrell Fox Column
Editor's
Note:
A classic
never goes out of style. These comical ideas
play just as well today as they did when they
were first published in 1954.
We're
grateful to Karrell Fox and Fran and Jay Marshall
at Magic, Inc. for allowing us to use this excerpt
from Karrell Fox's "Kornfidentially Yours."
Kornfidentially
Yours Korny Kwickies by Karrell Fox
The following
short, fast, comedy interludes were devised
principally to appeal to the lucky bunch of
magicians who believe in giving their audiences
something to look at, and something to chuckle
over, rather than a deep mystery. Use a few
of them for the deadspots in your act -- "just
for fun."
Selected
shorts -- Stop in the middle of your act and
say, "I just returned from Hollywood, it sure
is a wonderful place. I made some shorts when
I was out there. In fact I brought them with
me, look! (Remove a loud pair of men's shorts
and display them.)
*********
It smells
-- Cut a slit in your spring skunk and insert
a rubber bulb filled with talcum powder. Now,
after you produce your little "stinker" you
can get an additional laugh by squeezing the
bulb and causing him to spray powder in all
directions.
*********
Not good,
but loud -- Fix your table up to fire an auto
bomb ala the exploding suitcase. So that sometime
during your act you can lift up something from
your table at the same time tripping a release
which causes the table to whistle, explode,
and smoke all over the place (well, anyway,
it will keep them awake).
********
A highlight
-- After assembling your production box, remark,
"I don't quite understand this" then look in
the tube and say, "Ah, now, I'm beginning to
see the light" (remove one of the popular comedy
burning light bulbs) then hold the bulb over
your head and say, "One might consider this
the HIGH-LIGHT of my act." (Yok-yok)
********
An old
Yarn -- As you're working notice a piece of
red yarn hanging on your lapel. Start to pull
it off, only it keeps coming out and out until
you have quite a pile of the stuff, finally,
come to the end and then raise both pant legs.
On one foot is seen a bright red sock, but the
other foot is bare ! Just put the ball of yarn
in your breast pocket, and thread it through
your lapel (for patter, tell any "yarns" you
like).
********
Guillotine
bit -- After your victim's head is locked into
the guillotine, pick up a handkerchief and wipe
off his brow. Twist the hank as though wringing
it, and out pours a large stream of "nervous
perspiration" (Why not? The hank had a water
filled sponge concealed in its folds).
Color-Changing
Knife Finish -- After you've finished your regular
routine and returned the knives to your pocket,
confess to the onlookers that the secret consist
of using two knives but keeping one hidden at
all times. Offer to show them both knives. Remove
the white one from your pocket and it's a little
miniature (only 2" long), the black one is removed
and it's one of those black 6" giant rubber
pocket knives sold in dime stores.
********
Axe gag
-- As the obliging spectator is shuffling my
cards I sometimes toss a boy scout ace at him
(balsa wood, of course). The resulting scramble
is always good for a king-size laugh.
********
Let's
rehearse -- "I have written special music for
this next effect," heralds the funny-man, "here,
boys, rehearse this" (holding on to one end
he tosses a piano roll to the orchestra leader).
********
"Neversharp"
pencil -- After the spectator selects a card,
you request him to mark it with his initials.
As he reaches for his pencil, you remark, "Here,
you can use my pencil, it writes 3,000 years
without refilling." You remove from your inside
pocket, a giant red pencil three inches thick
and six feet long. The secret, oh, yes, it's
simply the old barber-pole or flagstaff production
item with a new red paint job and the usual
wooden knob replaced by a large pencil tip.
********
Celebrities
-- "Ladies and gentlemen, we have some celebrities
in our audience this evening. You've heard them
on the radio; you've seen them in the movies
and here they are in person; it's those international
favorites `The Four Inkspots!' As the band plays
a few bars of the familiar "inkspots" theme
song, you remove your pocket handkerchief and
imprinted thereon for all to see, are four large
blotches of ink! (good way of starting "soft
soap").
********
Shirt
gag -- After uncomfortably shrugging his shoulders
several times during his act, the magi-comic
removes a long feathered arrow from his coat
collar and remarks, "These darn Arrow shirts."
********
A "tin-spot"
-- During the course of his repeat bill trick,
the wizard counts, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, y and he
stops abruptly and looks more closely at the
bill and remarks, "Oh, well, we can't use this
one anyway, it's a ten-dollar bill." He then
tosses it to the floor where it lands with a
metallic clink! As if you didn't already know,
`twas just a piece of metal, with a stage bill
pasted on both sides.
********
A pair
of bloomers -- After producing the silks and
other items from your production box, you boldly
make the following announcement (without smiling),
"I will now produce a pair of bloomers!" Then
look into the box, raise your eyebrows, and
bring out -- two bouquets of spring flowers!
********
One for
the "Magi-Ministers" -- Load a Walsh cane with
one of those wiggly snakes, sold in dime stores.
You can then perform the biblical feat of changing
your staff to a serpent.
********
Wet cigar
-- After getting all the usual laughs from your
comedy-lit cigar, act annoyed at always finding
it lit. Hold it in the air, remove a small water
gun from your pocket and shoot a stream at the
cigar and then lay them both aside.
********
Mutilated
tie -- Why not do the standard mutilated handkerchief
routine with a necktie. The tie could first
be regular size, then in shreds, a large three-foot
long tie and finally restored to its original
condition.
********
It's
a date -- If you do the bathing beauty, then
get a couple of small calendar pads and fasten
them to each gimmicked flap, then when you pick
up the trick it resembles a large art calendar.
********
Especially
for "DELL" -- Attention, lady magicians: Say,
gals, you know those bracelets you wear so many
of at one time: (I think they call them "BANGLES").
Well, why not have a set of linking rings made
out of them. You could slip them off your wrist
and go right into the linking routine. (The
key ring could be stolen from your purse and
added to the set.)
********
Hyp Happy
-- Tell your lady assistant from the audience
that she must be placed into a trance before
she helps you. Have her close her eyes lightly
and after she does roll back your sleeves and
pick up a sledgehammer (balsa) from your table
as you remark, "In one minute you will be sound
asleep!" Start to hit her as you say this, then
change your mind and toss it into the audience
(the hammer that is, not your mind, silly).
********
Basket
bits -- If you perform the snake basket (mechanical
version where the snake rises with the card)
introduce it by saying, "This basket contains
my collection of a rare and unusual serpents.
Here's `Rosie' the rattlesnake (remove snake
with bright baby rattle fastened to its tail,
shake it and say, "Course, she's not full grown,
she's only a baby rattler.") And next is her
sister, "Gertie, the garter snake," (remove
another snake with a fancy, frilly lady's garter
fastened around it). "And here's their little
brother, he's not even a snake yet he's just
a worm," (remove a snake head which has fastened
to it a cloth tape measure). "He's a tapeworm!"
"Last but not least, here's Elmer, the magician
(remove regular snake used in trick only he's
wearing a little top-hat). He does card tricks,
etc., etc." (finish the regular effect now.)
********
Milk
pitcher -- In the last several years this prop
has become standard equipment in every magician's
repertoire. This is the way I use it for kid
shows and it never fails to make a big hit.
In addition to the pitcher you also need a De-Muth
Milk Appearing Bottle.
Call
up one of the younger boys to help you and ask
him of he can be trusted (if one says "yes"
he's lying ... I never did trust them younger
boys). Explain that you want to make sure he's
not one of those people that everything you
tell him goes in one ear and out the other and
offer to test him to make sure. Have him lean
over and place his left ear against the opening
of the empty milk bottle which is setting on
your table. Then pick up the milk pitcher and
standing behind him. Ask that he closes his
eyes. Now, apparently you pour the milk from
the pitcher into his right ear. Have him raise
his head and tell him he must be okay, as nothing
you said has leaked out yet, only before finishing
the trick, you had better remove all of the
milk from his head. Once more he leans over,
placing his ear against the bottle opening.)
This time release the gimmick, (which allows
the bottle to fill) and as you pump his arm
up and down, the bottle simultaneously fills
with milk.
********
Dove
pan -- If you don't mind making a mess of the
stage here's a real giggle-getter. Get one of
those small scrawny chicks and place it in the
bottom of your load chamber, then finish filling
the container with chicken feathers. You'll
be surprised at the amount it will hold! Mix
your ingredients in the pan in the usual manner,
the last being with one of Ireland's giant matches.
Place the lid on, announce that you will change
the mess into a live chicken. Remove the lid,
look puzzled, lean over and practically put
your nose in the pan and blow. Make it a good
strong puff so feathers will fly all over the
place. Then reach in and sorrowfully bring out
the sickly chick with the remark, "Guess I used
too much heat.
********
20th
Century Silks -- For this, I use the method
where the two tied silks are placed in your
mouth and the third silk appears between them
as they are pulled from between the teeth.
After showing
the tied silks and placing them between the teeth,
you display the third silk and drape it over the
barrel of an automatic pistol -- this is Eddie
Joseph's hank gun, it vanishes a silk and fires
a cap at the same time. Aiming the pistol at the
side of your head, you shoot and the silk vanishes.
Stagger a bit and then remove the two silks from
your teeth allowing the missing silk to come into
view; apparently having been shot between them
by your magical marksmanship.
********
Lota
Bowl -- This may seem like a lot of things to
carry just for the "Lota bowl," however, if
you want laughs, you won't be disappointed.
The bowl
is on a chair to the left of your regular magic
table. Draped on the chair back is a silk bathrobe,
(the more oriental looking the better) a Chinese
hat, a long droopy mustache, and a pair of sun
glasses (the kind with thick, flowery rims)
and a tiny flute.
Begin
by saying you will show them your Chinese trick,
but you must be properly dressed to perform
it. Walk over to the chair and put on all the
aforementioned articles, blow the flute, then
pour the water from the bowl, remove all the
garments and go on with your regular act. At
regular intervals thereafter empty the bowl,
however, each time before the bowl is emptied,
put on the robe, hat, glasses, and mustache
and again blow the flute ...each time as you
do this, make it faster and faster. After about
two or three times you will have them howling.
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