Mack
WoMack - Magician
By
Mike Rogers
The setting
is the El Norte Bar and Grill in Hudson, Wyoming,
population 413. The El Norte is famous for two
reasons: Having the finest steak dinners found
in the Rocky Mountains, and having the rowdiest
Saturday night brawls of any bar in Wyoming.
Itís been that way for Mack WoMackís entire
forty-five year life. Mack WoMack has been spinning
yarns and doing tricks with cards just about
every Saturday night at the El Norte Bar and
Grill since he was in his early twenties. Heís
one of the Saturday night regular customers.
This particular night is much the same. The
dinning room is rather busy with peaceful tame
folks who will be long gone by the time the
bar fills with the regular rough and tumble
cowboy crowd. They are like ships passing in
the night. The tame diners ignore the arriving
rowdies, and the arriving rowdies ignore the
departing diners. Itís been that way for years.
Even
though the hour is early Mack WoMack is holding
court to a sizable gathering in one corner of
the bar. Few if any know much about Mack. Heís
seldom seen during the week, and if he has a
job no one can accurately describe his profession.
However, the El Norte Saturday night crowd knows
him for his ratty dog-eared deck of playing
cards and the stories he tells. As the group
intently watches Mack is asking Mel Goodwrench,
the retired theatre owner, what card games he
enjoyed as a youngster. Mel replies, "Old
Maid, Spoons, Bone Pile, Go Fish, and
Poker taught to me by my uncle Hank Backworth
the uranium prospector." Hank is
not in attendance this evening. The need for
Wyoming uranium dried up years ago, yet Hank
plugs on never giving up hope. Heís been camping
out in the Gas Hills staking still another claim.
"Interesting,
Iíve always loved all those games, and my favorite
was Go Fish," Mack says. Then turning to
Marilyn Lynn, the school nurse who just happened
to step into the bar from the dining room to
catch Mack in action, "Marilyn, what is
your favorite card, assuming you have a favorite
card?" Miss Lynn replies, "I know you
expect me to say the Queen of Hearts, but my
real favorite card is the Seven of Hearts."
"Indeed
the Queen of Hearts would be a logical choice,
but then again, if you play the game of Hearts
then the Queen of Spades might be your choice,"
replies Mack as he downs his last swig of beer.
"JC, Iíll have another Colorado Kool Aid
please," he yells to JC Alan, the long
time El Norte bartender who can break up the
Saturday night fights as fast as he can mix
a tray of martinis. Mack goes on to explain
to Marilyn Lynn, "People who play the game
of Casino might favor the Ten of Diamonds, or
the Two of Spades, others may say Aces, so thereís
really no way to know just what a favorite card
might be."
Wayne
Law, a mean lean rodeo bull rider joins the
crowd. Everyone, including Mack WoMack speaks
nicely to Wayne Law. His name doesnít reflect
his behavior. His history of late night action
at the El Norte might suggest he change it from
Law to Lawless. Turning away from Marilyn for
the moment Mack offers to buy Wayne a Coors
while showing him the interesting back design
on the well-worn deck of cards. Mack always
uses such cards, ones having pictures of bulldogs
on the back. He explains to Wayne and the others
just why the deck is the way it is. The story
is rather interesting and one Mack has told
at the El Norte on several occasions. Wayne
Law has little interest, but he hangs around
as heís getting a free bottle of suds. Before
the evening is over heíll expect, and probably
receive, many free refills.
Speaking
directly to Gerald Black, Wyomingís most boisterous
and obnoxious gambler, famous for his losses,
not his winnings, Mack asks, "Gerry, what
would you do with these two cards in
the game of Black Jack?" With that question
WoMack tosses two aces face up on the bar. "Hell,
any fool knows you always split Aces and Eights
in the game. Why bother me with such a dumb
question?" Then yelling to the bartender,
"Hey JC, this would be a great place to
open a bar." Gerald always uses that
worn out trite rude manner when ordering another.
He thinks it is funny.
"Awe,
but Gerry, itís not a dumb question. Do you
know that in many European casinos a pair of
Aces is an automatic winner in Black Jack?"
Mack smiles and finishes off his remaining Coors
before getting JCís attention for another. Gerald
Black quickly responds with, "Iíd never be
caught dead in a European casino with all
those goodie-two-shoe pansies. No way Jose."
The truth is, Gerald would have a difficult
time even finding Europe on a map. Though he
is a pompous jerk, and a failure at the gaming
tables, he is quite successful with his trucking
business, run from a beat up house trailer located
on five acres of river front property between
Hudson and the town of Lander. Keep in mind,
most of the El Norte customers have never owned
a necktie. Yet many are quite successful in
business. Gerald is no exception.
Mack
WoMack has a coarse, but charming manner, that
probably wouldnít fly in any venue in the world
except the El Norte Bar and Grill in Hudson,
Wyoming, population 413. His followers eat it
up as he continues to spin his yarn about whatís
what relating to playing cards. He goes on to
explain about the various back designs on cards,
the difference in the sizes of Poker cards and
Bridge cards, the meaning of Dead Manís Hand
in Poker, and the various methods used to shuffle
cards throughout the world. At this point heís
no longer paying for his own beer. The late
night denim-clad-baseball-cap-big-belt-buckle-cowboy-hat
crowd is starting to build, and there are now
a few more WoMack fans following along.
Marilyn
Lynn, the school nurse, excuses herself to return
to her friends who are still enjoying coffee
following their dinner in the dining room. Before
allowing her to break away Mack asks, "Miss
Lynn, before you go what was your favorite playing
card again, or did I forget to ask?"
"Yes
you did ask Mack, the Seven of Hearts, but itís
really not my favorite, I really donít have
a favorite card." Marilyn is feeling a bit
out of place and bids the crowd farewell, but
Mack stops here again. "But Miss Lynn, the
Seven of Hearts does indeed have a special
spot in your life, look." Without doing
any monkey business with the cards Mack simply
ribbon spreads the deck face down across the
bar. The Seven of Hearts is the only face up
card in the entire face down deck!
Wayne
pushes his cowboy hat to the back of his head
and yells a common four-letter expletive. Gerald
removes his baseball hat, which he wears backwards,
and slams it on the bar in disbelief. (Gerald
doesnít realize that when the baseball hat goes
on backwards the I.Q. drops twenty points.)
Mel and the other viewers gasp, while Marilyn
Lynn simply stares at the Seven of Hearts in
stunned astonishment.
Downing
another gulp of Coors Mack turns to JC Alan,
the bartender who breaks up Saturday night fights,
asking, "How did the Yankees do today JC?"
"The
Yankees won," JC Alan explains while serving
up a round.
Mack WoMack,
the magician, also won today!
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